wisdom

Sitting with Uncertainty (and other things I’ve felt while living unemployed…)

Hello beauties!

A happy mid-June to you all. I hope the weather is beautiful where you are. If not, get a load of this:

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I’m as shocked as you are. This is San Francisco, for Pete’s sake.

Well, last I checked in, I had just completed the final rotation in my dietetic internship. Uncertainties abound, but the newness of being free from supervised practice hours for the rest of my career was enough to keep at bay the flaming ball of anxiety that often inhabits my gut.

Prior to completing my internship, I firmly proclaimed that I required some down time, during which I could focus on studying for my RD board exam, and with money I had saved, I could get myself through a few more months unemployed. After passing the exam, I would carry on with my job hunt, warp speed – factor 10.

Well, to my utter shock, as soon as I had about 3 weeks left of my internship, I awoke from a haze to find I had been frantically perusing nutrition job websites, and noticed fingers that looked like mine typing away at cover letters and requests for references. What. Is. Happening?!

I wish I could say I caught myself in this old behavior, realized I wasn’t giving myself the unstructured time I so wanted and deserved, closed my laptop, and refocused my energy on passing my exam while enjoying life around me. Alas, this was not the case.

A number of weeks into practicing my daily routine of wake up, coffee, procrastinate, job hunt, “organizing” (shuffling things around until piles look manageable), listening to 1/4 of an Inman RD exam review track, and back to “organizing”, I had a nice little epiphany at which I so peacefully arrived by having it slapped upon my face.

Through networking and good fortune, I was put into contact with several people who were offering jobs that looked promising. After phone conversations and/or email correspondence, these opportunities looked like potential hires. They were jobs that I would be completely happy exploring, and I thought it would take away the anxiety I have felt relating to the dreaded day I run out of money. Well, time and time again, after informal interviews went as perfectly as they could have, I was told I would be a great candidate for the position, but right now they were looking for someone who had already passed their exam.

Alright – what’s the big idea, Universe? I was told early on in my plight into dietetics that many companies are ok with hiring prior to passing your exam, with the expectation that you pass within a certain amount of time from hire date. But that was proving wrong over and over again.

And then I remembered… Isn’t this exactly what I asked for? Didn’t I say I wanted and needed time to focus on this exam, and getting my life together post-internship? And didn’t I predict how I would struggle to just sit back and ALLOW this to happen?

Hm… Seems like the Universe just might have my best interest in mind here.

So currently where I sit is here:
Going against the voice in my head that tells me I’m not good enough because I get to live life on my own schedule these days, I have put the job hunt on hold. I am mostly focused on studying for this exam, and on appreciating what else I have going on, from a blossoming social life in a fantastic, still relatively new city, to community involvement and being of service to others. I have ACTUALLY done some legitimate organization which looks like this — a calendar where I can view things both weekly and monthly, noting sections of my exam review to go over each day to keep me on track to be as prepared as possible come test day. My exam is scheduled for July 23, which gives me over a month from right now to prep. I’m sure this time will fly by, so I’m avoiding the mind set that I have plenty of time and can get it done when I feel like it, which has often plagued me in the past; however there is enough time between now and the test for me to not be so susceptible to full-fledged conniption-style panic attacks if I only get through 5 pages instead of my intended 6 on any given Tuesday (if you don’t believe this to be a possibility, you were fortunate enough not to know me circa 2012).

For those fellow RDs to be who are curious about how I am studying and what materials I am using, I am going through Inman’s Review of Dietetics, and listening to the CDs where she reviews each domain and notes specific important details. That’s all I’ll say for now, and hopefully I can return in about a month to tell you that what I did actually WORKED, and share more at that time.

Until then, I will be sitting in some discomfort, and remembering to refrain from complaining about receiving the things I’ve always asked for.

Keep smilin, lovelies. Our futures are lookin damn bright.

<3,
Samantha

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Lessons in Tree Pose

Lessons in Tree Pose

Something I learned in Tree Pose this week: if you take the time you need getting there, ya might stay longer. Applicable, no?

Speaking of taking our time, please expect a new post on how my dietetic internship ended up with my School Nutrition Management rotation, and take a peak into the uncertainty and excitement that comes with the life of an internship grad as I job hunt and study for my RD exam! Hope you lovely readers are having a beautiful day. Stay grounded ;-).

❤ Samantha

A Quick Reminder for Self-Compassion

Sometimes it’s easy to forget that we all are human beings. And some days we need to have a little more self-compassion.

Just reminding us all to be gentle with ourselves, especially when we’re having a particularly rough day. Think of treating yourself with the same compassion you might show if a friend or child came to you with your same fears, anxieties, and stressors.

Now have a wonderful Wednesday!

Quick Quote

The wise will choose to be happy rather than to be sad or to make others sad. It is wiser to be happy and make others happy as well.

Found the above sentiment (that I somewhat paraphrased) floating around the blogosphere, and it spoke to me loudly. Since it addresses some major thoughts I’ve recently had, I thought others might benefit from having heard it as well.

What do you think? True, there are factors related to our own happiness and that of others that remain beyond our control. But what CAN we control, and use to our advantage web it comes to our emotions and overall wellbeing? Probably more than we realize…

What are your thoughts?

Incredible Life Percpective from Our World’s Youth

It often takes the point of view of a child to get across the jumbled words swirling through my brain for the past 24 years. This is spot on.

Wise, wise words, young one.

Every day…

…It’s becoming more and more apparent. I need a regular yoga practice in my life. Immediately.

It is what it is. Often events, people and their thoughts, their actions, are entirely beyond our control. I know for me, that is hard to accept. But people will do what they will. Sad and bad things happen every day. Control what you can, let be what you can’t.

Accept it, and take it for what it is. And STOP OVER ANALYZING.